


the nightmares may be loud (but let our singing be louder)

by Garecc, Gunpowderdtim (Garecc)



Series: Ready, Aim, Fire [35]
Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Aurora makes an appearance, Carmilla maintenince trauma lmao, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dr Carmillas B- Parenting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Literal Sleeping Together, Mentioned Dr Carmilla (Dr. Carmilla), Mickey Was Not A Great Uncle, Nightmares, Sleepy Cuddles, Soft Ashes O'Riley, Soft Jonny d'Ville, i tried to make this ashes/jonny and the shippyness refused to stick, very minor ashes/jonny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29927778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garecc/pseuds/Garecc, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garecc/pseuds/Gunpowderdtim
Summary: In which Ashes can't sleep, and Jonny has a nightmare about assisting Carmilla with maintenance on them, so he goes into their room to reassure himself they are okay. Ft. Aurora
Relationships: Jonny d'Ville & Ashes O'Reilly
Series: Ready, Aim, Fire [35]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799860
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	the nightmares may be loud (but let our singing be louder)

**Author's Note:**

> guys i wanted ashes to simp after jonny so bad yall dont understand :(  
> Jonny once again strikes with his I Will Make This Fic About Me Being Sad Fuck You abilities. attention seeking bastard.

It was late, or well, it was during the designated “night” hours on Aurora. The lights were dimmed, there were no distant gunshots, the only sound was the distant, constant thrum of Aurora’s engines. 

Ashes couldn’t sleep. They laid in bed, eyes fixed on some miscellaneous shape in the dark. They couldn’t quite discern what it was and didn't feel like bothering with their lamp to figure it out.

The lamp was kind of broken anyway. It was always sparking. Whenever they turn it on it makes a rather alarming popping sound, and it occasionally refuses to turn on the first few tries. They didn't exactly feel like dealing with the lamp at... They glance at their clock. 3 in the morning.

Carmilla, Mother, whatever she was to them anymore would have chided them for having such a fire hazard laying around. But well, if you really think about it they were a fire hazard themself, so they didn't exactly see a problem.

Ashes winced at the thought of  _ Her, _ rolled over and faced the other direction, away from the shape they couldn't identify.

Thinking about their mother/mentor/captain/whatever-the-fuck-Carmilla-was-by-the-end figure would only make them spiral.

It always did. The too complicated emotions too tangled with their thoughts on Mickey and everything. 

They clenched their teeth, shutting down that train of thought.

Thinking about that wasn't worth the energy and the emotional exhaustion that would follow.

God, what the hell were they even thinking about a minute ago? They needed to think about  _ something  _ other than shitty complicated tangled emotions. 

They didn't want to drown in the confusion and betrayal and hurt right now. 

They hated this. The emotions, the tangled pit of dark horrible angry and bitter emotions inside them they choked on when they couldn’t sleep.

Insomnia was a bitch.

But they’d always dealt with it. 

As a kid they’d always counted their breaths, timing the distance between breaths until they managed to fall asleep. 

Sometimes if they were tired enough, they’d start doing that without thinking and jolt back awake because of the sudden awareness that  _ they can't breathe _ . The panic of not having air in their lungs, not having  _ lungs. _ Having to force themself to  _ calm down. _ Because oh, wait, they just have no control over their lungs anymore.

It felt like they couldn’t breathe, not being able to control their lungs. 

Whenever they remembered they had to breathe there was a sharp moment of panic where they felt like they were suffocating. Unable to take a breath as hard as they tried. Like something was choking them, like something was blocking their throat. 

Frozen until they manage to force down that panic with logic as their mechanism does a few cycles. 

They hate it.

They drum their fingers against the mattress, biting at their lip. 

Had they been thinking about a story? A song? A tale? They can't remember beyond the vague feeling of having lost some sort of interesting topic.

And they were  _ tired. _ They had half a mind to knock themself unconscious so they could just get some fucking  _ rest. _

A light but insistent draft of cold air rolled across their face, and Ashes groaned. “Yeah ‘rora?” They didn't exactly care how bleary they sounded. It's Aurora. She’s seen them do literally everything. When your friend is the walls you live in, embarrassment is a bit of a pretense. They roll over again. Pressing their face into their pillow. “If a box fell and fucked up your balance I’m fixing it later. Or just get Brian to fix it. ‘M fucking tired.”

Aurora blew air a bit more insistently, and the walls clicked in the way that Ashes knew meant she was pouting. 

Ashes sighed, fumbling for the switch that lets Aurora talk on the wall. It was necessary, as sometimes she forgot which speakers were which.

Ashes was  _ not keen on reliving hearing everything she says to Nastya on date night ever again. _

“ _ What? _ ” They grumble. Making eye contact with the camera that turned on with the switch. Or where they think the camera is. It's dark, and sometimes they forget which corner it's in.

“Jonny will be here in a minute. You needed to be awake.”

They pause.

They hadn’t expected that.

“...What? Why?”

“I’ll let him tell you.” 

And then she was silent.

Ashes rubbed at their eyes. He must’ve had a nightmare or something.

A few minutes later there was a soft knock on their door, and Ashes sat up.

“Ashes?”

Jonny’s voice was soft through the door, and Aurora opened it a moment later.

One of Aurora’s mechanical ‘arms’ hovered over Jonny’s shoulder. (Nastya had attached them some time ago. Aurora had gleefully been interacting with items inside her walls. as well as stealing things since. It was cute, how happy she was to be able to pick things up.) The arm pushed him in. He looked over his shoulder a moment and said something they couldn’t quite make out to Aurora, and awkwardly stepped in.

He stared at them blankly, looking like he might bolt.

He was tense, stiff, looking at them like they were going to punish him for being here.

“I-” he started, but his voice caught and he looked away. His hands were tangled in the hem of his shirt, twisting at the fabric as he always did when he was anxious out of his mind.

“Hey, Jonny.” Ashes tried for a smile.

“Hey.” His eyes were fixed somewhere strongly to their left. Voice hoarse with tears.

“C’mere.” Ashes patted the bed next to them, beckoning him over.

He took half a step forward, then a full step back. “Um.” He managed.

He looked like he was going to run.

So Ashes tried again. “Jonny, c’mere.” They softened their voice a bit more, and moved over. Less of an order, more of an offer. 

He took another step forward, and before finally crossing their room and sitting down.

They didn't move to touch him.

He still looked torn between running and staying, and Ashes  _ really _ didn't want to scare him off.

His eyeliner was a mess, running down his cheeks. 

Ashes frowned.

“Did you have a nightmare?” They asked. 

Jonny nodded. A sharp, jerky motion. Shoulders hunched and nearly folded over his arms.

Ashes reached down from the side of their bed, fumbling for a moment before they found what they were looking for. A bendy stim toy.

They passed it to him wordlessly. He all but snatched it and immediately began twisting it into patterns, not looking at them.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He mumbled something they couldn’t make out. Hunching over his arms, twisting the toy quicker.

“I didn't hear that, dear.” They hadn’t meant to call him dear, but Jonny didn't comment or respond beyond taking a shaky breath.

(Somewhere dark and bitter inside them, Ashes felt a bit of envy at that ability.)

Ashes waited a few moments, waiting.

“‘Was about..  _ Her _ ‘n you.  _ She _ was..  _ She’ _ d been doin'.. Maintenance on you. An I had’ta help.”

“Oh,  _ Jonny. _ ” Ashes kept their voice soft as they looked at him.

“I just- needed to see you.” He says quickly. “Make sure-” His voice caught as he buried his head in his arms, breathing shaky and near sobs.

“I’m alright, Jonny.”

“I know.” He drew his knees to his chest, curled tightly over them. Voice nearly inaudible. 

“And I don't blame you for any of it.”

“ _ I know _ .” His voice was a bit sharper that time.

“Just checking.”

They sat there a minute, Ashes listening to Jonny’s stifled sobs.

“Can I touch you?” Ashes finally asked.

Jonny froze, and Ashes winced internally. 

But Jonny nodded sharply, which wasn't what Ashes had expected. They slowly wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He was stiff for a few moments, just long enough Ashes debated pulling back. Then he turned and hugged them. Burying his face into their neck, all but clinging to them. Ashes froze for half a second, before wrapping Jonny into a hug.

He wasn't even trying to hide the fact he was crying as he clung. 

Ashes just held him. 

He sobbed, occasionally mumbling half-formed words about Her and they just pulled him closer. Slowly he stopped crying and just curled into their arms. 

“Jonny?” 

“Mmm?”

“You feeling any better?”

“...Yeah.”

He pulled back at those words. Rubbing at his eyes, and smudging his makeup further. 

Ashes stood up, stepped over a few haphazardly stacked items before reaching over and grabbed their pack of makeup wipes.

Jonny watched them blankly, then scowled a bit after recognizing what they held.

"I don't need to take it off." Jonny hissed.

"Look at me." Ashes ordered, sitting back down. 

“I can do it myself." Jonny grumbled, but didn't protest as he turned to face them.

Ashes wiped the makeup from his face, ignoring how he slightly leaned into the touch. 

Once they were satisfied, they tossed the wipes into the trash can. Setting the pack on the nightstand to be dealt with at a more reasonable hour.

Jonny stared at them with a half-smile on his face. 

Ashes patted his head as they sat down. He squeaked indignantly, batting at their hand. Ashes smiled as they began pulling their blankets back into a halfway reasonable position. "You sleeping in here?"

He paused, pondering it, before nodding. "If- is that okay?"

"Jonny, I offered." Ashes laid down and held up the blankets as an offering. Jonny smiled, still that tiny soft smile, and clambered next to them.

At first they weren't touching at all, and other than the ticking of Jonny's heart, the whistle of Ashes’ lungs cycling, and the ever-present thrum of Aurora’s engines, there was silence.

Then Jonny mumbled something too quick for Ashes to understand.

"What?"

"Can we cuddle?" Jonny repeated. Still mumbling but Ashes was able to parse out the meaning.

Ashes mmhmm’d an affirmative, before moving closer to Jonny so he was settled with his back against their chest. 

They wrapped an arm around him. He found their hand, and interlocked their fingers.

Ashes felt Jonny relax moments later as he sort of melted against them. Pressing himself closer to them.

This was  _ nice _ .

Soon Jonny's breathing evened out, and Ashes knew he was asleep.

It wasn't much longer until they felt tired again.

They counted the ticks of his heart rather than breaths, and fell asleep minutes later.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
